When Stalking becomes Elder Abuse


Image courtesy of https://stalkernotes.com

In the coming weeks and months, I’m going to write about what it’s like being an elderly victim of stalking. Continue reading

A Safe Haven – Mental Health


Just minutes ago, as I was preparing dinner while listening to Channel 7 Eyewitness News, I heard Alan Krashesky reporting on a mental health facility that is helping serial stow-away Marilyn Hartman. Continue reading

Suicide or Murder

Sandra Bland


Like a lot of you, I’ve ben paying close attention to the Sandra Bland case going on in Texas and it got me thinking last night that if something happened to me, I don’t want anyone thinking I committed suicide. I want people to know I was murdered!   Continue reading

Erotic Humiliation

I love this new computer age because it gives, us, the general public access to information on a scale that has never been seen before in all of history.

With this unprecedented access to information the one subject I have researched time and again, when not doing research for a novel, is The Stalkers.   

And because of my research, I know that my first instinct about their screaming being a form of  sexual behavior was correct.   I referred to it as ‘getting their rocks off.’ 

But, The stalkers and others (usually some well meaning idiot, clueless and untrained police officer, or greedy person being promised some sort of bribe, i.e., free clothes, travel, or information) have always vowed that it was not.  And that these people were correcting my bad behavior.   Well, that idea that they were  ‘correcting my behavior’ is at the core of sexual humiliation.

I strongly agree with the description of sexual humiliation identified in the following description given of it in Wikipedia, except for the word consensual. Stalking a person takes away all consensual aspects of erotic humiliation making it erotic stalking

Erotic humiliation is a consensual technique, which uses psychological humiliation in order to receive erotic excitement or sexual arousal for the person being humiliated and demeaned or for the person humiliating, or for some spectator, and may be part of BDSM and other sexual roleplay or accompanied by the sexual stimulation of one or both partners in the activity.

Humiliation is a subjective issue, and is dependent on context. It does not need not be sexual in nature; as with many other sexual activities, it is the feelings that are obtained from the experience that are desired, regardless of the nature of the actual activity. Usually there is a feeling of submission for the person being humiliated, and dominance, for the person implementing the humiliation. It can be done verbally and/or physically, and can take place privately or publicly. Some individuals assume an acting role and others prefer to be spoken to in a degrading way. A classic technique that can be used to put the submissive into a bottom mind space is to humiliate them while also providing them with sexual stimulation. Select individuals who desire this form of humiliation also use it to acquire emotional release. Humiliation can become ritualized, and unlike some sexual variations it can also be easily carried out over a long distance (such as online).

While fantasy and fascination with erotic humiliation is a prevalent part of BDSM and other sexual roleplay, relatively little has been written on it.[1] Humiliation play can, however, be taken to a point where it becomes emotionally or psychologically distressing to one or the other partner, especially if it is public humiliation. Erotic humiliation can become extreme enough to be considered a form of edgeplay,

Verbal humiliation [

  • Animal play, referring to the recipient as a pet, dog, or bitch; making the humiliated one eat and drink from pet food and water bowls.[3]
  • Verbal belittlement, with such words as slave, boy, girl, missy, and pet.
  • Insultsand verbal abuse, such as fat, ugly, stupid, and worthless.
  • Degrading names, such as slut, shit, bitch, cunt, and whore.
  • Racial and ethnic slurs.
  • Disparaging or cruel references about breasts, facial appearance, genitalia (including size or circumcision status), buttocks, or about behaviors such as walking, responsiveness, and hygiene.
  • Requirement to ask permission for everyday activities, such as going to the toilet, spending money, and eating.
  • Forced repetition, such as the humiliated one being obliged to repeat commands that he or she has been given and to confirm them.
  • Forced flattery, such as agreeing that every decision that the dominant makes is wise, correct, and justifiable, while additionally praising the dominant’s physical and personality traits.
  • Mockeryderision, and ridicule.
  • Scolding of the type commonly reserved for children.[3]

 Read, study, learn.  And don’t get in the car the way my town did.

Eliza D. Ankum
Author of
STALKED! By Voices




My Stalking Blog – Prisoners


Last night I watched the movie ‘Prisoners’ starring Hugh Jackman and Jake Gyllenhaal.

And I must say I was thoroughly impressed with Hugh Jackman’s acting skills. I completely forgot that it was Wolverine underneath that beard and blue collar work duds. I became totally involved with his character.

And needless-to-say Jake Gyllenhaal nailed his part, also. His characterization of Loki, was the essence of how today’s police work.

Loki was young, dedicated, and driven. Yet, with all of that going for him and bear in mind that he had all the facts to solve the case, he was never going to solve it. Why? Because he wasn’t able to connect the dots the way he thought the dots should have connected. He was looking for motive more than he was looking for the missing girls. A forest search is a body search. His logic was, figure out why the girls were taken and then he’d find the person responsible for taking them. If only that were true in real life.

Gyllenhaal’s character would never have found the girls using standard logic because the person who took them wasn’t thinking logically. And the movie nailed that point.

It was Hugh Jackson’s character, acting on Faith and Instinct, and irrational behavior was what made the girl’s rescue possible.

And a note for all those policemen and women reading this blog, and thinking you’re wrong.

Case in point. The character played by Paul Dano would never never never never never never never never have told where the girls were without the torture. Why. Survival.

Just think about it. He had been missing for twenty-six years. 26 years in the same town. Walking around, driving around, playing around in the same damn town. And not one policeman noticed him or saw the torture he was surviving.

After you’ve spent that many years, alone in the wilderness, you learn to trust no one, not even the people trying to rescue you.

I, myself, am still contending with a stalker after some 40 years and I’ll tell you right this minute that the very last thing in this world that I’d do, is voluntarily walk into a Police Station.

I have LEARNED, had it drilled into my head, that the police are NOT interested in my point of view — only theirs. Just like in the movie.

A big round of applause for ‘Prisoners.’ And I’m not just saying that because my name is Eliza. 

I picked up right away that the two little girls were being stalked, i.e.  “I lost my pink whistle 133 days ago.”  It’s a classic symptom of stalking.  Things go missing.



Eliza Ankum
Author of
STALKED! By Voices
Ruby Sanders
Flight 404